I'll admit it. I'm having a hard time blogging right now. I can't find the words. It's not that I have nothing to talk about, I do. I'm taking the pot off the burner just when things are just starting to cook. I've got plenty of feelings on the matter, but my mind is a whirling dervish of conflicting emotions that I can't really get a grip on at the moment. Once I am able to stop the spinning I might be better equipped to explain how weird all of this feels.
(Portrait by Tom Pavlich)
Neil and I are spending the weekend tackling the not-so-fun task of packing. We've managed to cram quite a bit of stuff into our tiny apartment and I'm embracing this opportunity to edit all of it. The older I get, the more I tend to look upon having for the sake of having with disdain. A big part of me desires a stripped down, minimalist home. A monk's life, even. Only the essential has a place, everything else goes.
One thing at a time, though. I can only handle so many changes at once.
I'm making a big adjustment once we arrive. It is a very necessary one. In the 7 years I've lived here, some aspects of my health have declined significantly and I attribute it to the regular social drinking and too-frequent consumption of rich food that can be found and any number of fantastic eateries in my neighborhood. I've been too indulgent, and I feel unwell as a result. I have a history of food intolerances, auto-immune disorders and cancer in my family so I need to take my wellness more seriously. I could literally be shortening my life by not following my body's lead.
So, at this new home of ours we will be eating sensible home cooked meals made of fresh food and drinking infrequently. The temptation to go out for cocktails and arepas or beer and pizza will be minimal because it just doesn't exist to the same degree in our new town. I'm ok with that. I can better manage my behavior under these circumstances. I cannot farm if I feel like hell on a day to day basis. I need to be at my best, because there is a lot of work to do.
Heck, I might even start doing yoga! I'll be living on a farm with yogis and yoginis passing through on a regular basis. All of my friends would chuckle to see that, after so many years of thumbing my nose. I'll eat my hat. It's fine. I want to live a long life. I want a life filled with good living. If that's what it takes, then that is what it takes.
7 days to go, Brooklyn.